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On the surface, I was successful.

I was surrounded by diverse, intellectual friends. I led a popular student website and was active in the arts and athletics. I sez learning and made Phi Beta Kappa my junior year. I judged myself harshly, to the point of disgust.

Sexual Hookup Culture: A Review

I drove myself to excessive exercising and near-anorexia. I felt this way because of men—or so I thought. While there was a major gulf between my public self and my private one, the one thing that remained consistent were my politics. I told myself that I was a feminist, despite wokan myself to unfulfilling, emotionally damaging sexual experiences.

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And I believed it. I had a puppy-love relationship with my high school boyfriend, the kind you see in movies. Losing my virginity was a respectful and patient experience.

Almost immediately, I buried this dream deep within my new plastic dorm drawers. From dance floors to bedrooms, everyone was hooking up—myself included.

The popular media most frequently characterizes hookup culture as a series of emotionless one-night stands. At Middlebury, such casual hookups definitely occur.

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Far more frequent, however, were pseudo-relationships, the mutant children of meaningless sex and loving partnerships. Two students consistently hook up with one another—and typically, only each other—for weeks, months, even years. Yet per unspoken social code, neither party is permitted emotional involvement, commitment, or vulnerability.

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I soon came to believe that real relationships were impossible at Midd. The idea that sexual liberation is fundamental to female agency dominates progressive media. True feminists, I believed, not only wanted but also thrived on emotionless, non-committal sexual engagements.

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And to a surprising degree, it is women—not men—who are perpetuating the swinging wives milwaukee., especially in school, cannily manipulating it to make space for their success, always keeping their own ends in mind.

For college girls these days, an overly serious suitor fills the eant role as an accidental pregnancy did in the 19th century: While various academic studies tout the damaging effects of hookup culture, I came across them much more infrequently.

Besides, the alternative seemed to me to wlman abstinence—an equally unfulfilling option. I decided it was time to ditch my antiquated desire for monogamy. And when guys reciprocated my interest, my insecurities were at least temporarily dissolved.

The winter of my junior year, I asked Ben, a quiet, smart philosophy major with bright blue eyes, to a wine and cheese Colleve. We saw each other for a few months. Give or take some weeknight Netflix-watching or walks in town, I cycled through this routine with at least five guys by senior year. After I began having sex with these guys, the power balance always tipped.

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